No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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