I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
