You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
