Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
