she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
