More tranny stories later!
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
