I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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