I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
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It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
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The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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