the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
