Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
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My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
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when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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