ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
