I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize