You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
