he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
