idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
