I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
