btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My balls are so social today.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
