singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
