i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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