I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
