Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
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I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
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The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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