Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
