no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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