i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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