either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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