Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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