I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
