3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
