I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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