I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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