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• (410): View more from Maryland

  i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  Where are you?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  A place I should not be.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.

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• (951): View more from California

  I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  so you are graduating this semester.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand

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• (831): View more from California

  Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.

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• (607): View more from New York

  Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  My Sexting was not on an AP level

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.

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