So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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