turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
