She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
