dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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