never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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