Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
