No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
