We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
