I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize