Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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