I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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