can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
