I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
