Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
