MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
