Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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