Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The air was thick with penises
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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