Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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