she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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