I'm jealous of your bromance
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
