like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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