My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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