sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
