I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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