Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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