I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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