i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
