He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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