Sry I called you an 8
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
