I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
