i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
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It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
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The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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