she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
