It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
