the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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