p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
