I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
